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Coffee Shop Scribbles

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Here's the latest scribbles! [Apr. 29th, 2007|10:34 pm]
Coffee Shop Scribbles


[mood |gloomygloomy]
[music |A Chorus Line: "one"]

These scribbles all suck...I'm sorry. They're just a bunch of stuff I discovered in my notebooks I must have written during classes last term...have fun.

Blue eyes keep secrets and can whisper.
Blue eyes don't know the difficulties,
because Blue eyes are calm.
Any mood can be covered by the Blue,
Any emotion can be hidden,
Because the Blue disguises it all.

Cursed without Blue eyes.
No eyes for telling lies or keeping secrets,
or holding back and staying quiet.
brown eyes that open and bare the soul,
When all the soul wants is to hide.
The emotions come sailing out,
exploding and pouring from fucking brown eyes,
Brown eyes that want to avoid confrontation,
and hide the feelings,
keep them from being real.
Eyes that want so badly to disappear into Blue,
A Blue that keeps everything hidden.

This is pretty much just a rant.
I'll tell you what love is.

Love is ridiculous. Love is neither kind nor harsh. Love doesn't give way to needs. Love is pushy, stubborn and arrogant. Love will say yes when all a person wants is to say no.
It will not give up and is so persistant that it will drive a person crazy. Love is parasitic, grabbing and holding on, showing no mercy. Love is the one thing that will never let go, no matter if the love is requited or not.
It doesn't care for people, doesn't cradle people in its arms, doesn't feed people the sweet nectars of care associated with it.
Love has no regard for time, no regard for feelings, no regard for life.
Love is emotionless.
It is detached and everywhere. Love fills the air, takes up no space, and chokes the breath out of you.
Love is all a person has.

And this is just...this
I have no words for you. No words that can describe the venom in my heart, coursing through my veins. I so badly want to push you aside, smack you, yell at you. I need to tell you that you need to stay away. Go find someone else. Anyone. I don't fucking care. Just so long as it isn't-isn't...

I can't even say it. Of course, I can't. I've never been able to claim something, claim it as my own. This is why I sit quietly. Seething in silence as I watch my heart get ripped from my body.
It's never been easy, but I'm getting used to it. It's becoming routine. Get my heart set on somebody. Become closer. So close that I can almost feel the puzzle coming together, I can almost taste the flawlessness. Then I watch another come into place. My place. The place I had occupied so perfectly, the place that I had every right to be in. I see my puzzle falling apart, the pieces scattering. Lost.

And what do I do?

Do I say something? Do I take what is rightfully mine? Do I give into my feelings and just go for what I want? For what I need?
Why? Why would I do something like that? Why would I do something to ensure my happiness, to ensure that I'm not alone, to ensure that we're together?
Truth be told, I don't have the answer to that. I don't have the answer to anything like that, because all I know is the happiness of others. I've learned well and conditioned myself to defeat and anguish. I've seen good things come and go, and I've taught myself just to smile. So I continue to smile, and I'll always smile at you.

There ya go.